It's pretty darn obvious that the world moves a lot quicker than my modest mind allows so I probably don't need to tell you all a story that showcases that trait. But since it leads me to an opportunity for some moral grandstanding there was no way I could help myself.
A couple of months ago I immersed myself in a total doughnut experience at a pastry-inspired art show at Sublime Doughnuts. As it was a Sunday I reveled in the opportunity to trade the loud, abbreviated soundbites of weekday radio for the well-spoken, full-length, but often equally insipid interviews that the weekend provides. I heard a few minutes of an interview with liberal firebrand James Carville. He used his appearance time to argue that, without question, the Democratic Party would "rule" government for the next 40 years. He offered this following his argument that economies were most prosperous under the administrations of liberal presidents. That is a potentially accurate claim presuming sufficient evidence is presented that could verify the required components and meanings of that claim. But rather than supplying sufficient evidence Carville compared the argument to the evolution vs creation argument and stated that the economic superiority of liberals was just like evolution and they are both [and here is where my memory is sorta, basically, almost exactly accurate] "not open to debate" and that "there is no debate."
What does he mean by "no debate"? Just because we have literally millions of astronomical and fossil artifacts to verify the age of both the planet and the life on it and just because DNA offers us the physical and chemical diagrams of the history of evolution and the development of species that does not mean that the debate does not exist. There are some people who offer factually unsubstantiated explanations of the origins of the universe but that doesn't mean they aren't invited to the debate. Personally, I think those are the first people you invite to a debate because they offer the people with correct explanations to learn the thinking patterns of those who disagree. I want them there because critical thinkers may hear things that either challenge or fortify their own premises but mostly because I love seeing religious dumbasses get served.
So if evolution is open to debate why wouldn't Carville's claims about liberal presidents and periods of liberal "rule" also be open to debate. And if their claims regarding both the future and past are contestable then so are his claims regarding policy and society. And who knows, he may be right. But if he wants me to believe me he can't hit with me with the same authoritarian tone that a gospel drooling preacher he's going to have to back it up with facts. Debate is absolutely necessary when it comes to addressing issues. The absence of debate is completely oppositional to the free market of ideas that was held in such esteem by men like Jefferson and Adams (it's still 4th of July month so I get to milk their names). The beauty of life is that no person is always right all the time and thus no one dogma can be right all of the time either. If you stake an emotional claim into something even the most critical of minds might allow a few laundered facts. As for me, I err to the side of personal liberty. And especially the liberty to eat doughnuts.
...and so I used that liberty to go to Sublime Doughnuts and eat awesome doughnuts. I'm standing firm on this, by the way, if anyone, and I mean ANYONE, campaigns on an anti-doughnut platform they can kiss my vote goodbye.
(Just to further illustrate the point that my mind's clock isn't operating with the rest of the world get this: I opened a couple of tabs in Firefox to research the events of my story. Apparently the doughnut show was May 17th and the interview with Carville was the 7th, a full 10 days apart. So clearly I'm a liar, a cheat and a scoundrel who will bend the truth for a good story.)
Sunday, July 12, 2009
The unanmous Declaration of the thirteen... WHAT ARE THIRTEEN THINGS YOU LOVE ABOUT THE UNITED STATES?
from Facebook
originally posted Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 9:07am
To celebrate Independence Day share with everyone 13 things you love about the United States. We all have opinions on how to make this country a better place and, thanks to a well-placed Amendment in The Constitution we are allowed to express these opinions in both private and public forums. Take a few minutes to copy the body of this Note and come up with a list of your own and post it as a Note. Then, tag a bunch of your friends and we can all learn a more about our fellow inhabitants of these United States.
A List of 13 Things I Love About the United States
i Pam Grier
ii The Batmobile
iii Carl Sagan
iii KING KONG
iv Evel Knieval
v The Ramones
vi Russ Meyer
vii Tammy Wynette
viii "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness"
ix Frederick Douglas
x Tortillas (on Ponce)
xi Jim Henson
xii glow-in-the-dark sex toys (which may not be made here but just seems as American as Elvis Presley)
xiii Ray Harryhausen
originally posted Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 9:07am
To celebrate Independence Day share with everyone 13 things you love about the United States. We all have opinions on how to make this country a better place and, thanks to a well-placed Amendment in The Constitution we are allowed to express these opinions in both private and public forums. Take a few minutes to copy the body of this Note and come up with a list of your own and post it as a Note. Then, tag a bunch of your friends and we can all learn a more about our fellow inhabitants of these United States.
A List of 13 Things I Love About the United States
i Pam Grier
ii The Batmobile
iii Carl Sagan
iii KING KONG
iv Evel Knieval
v The Ramones
vi Russ Meyer
vii Tammy Wynette
viii "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness"
ix Frederick Douglas
x Tortillas (on Ponce)
xi Jim Henson
xii glow-in-the-dark sex toys (which may not be made here but just seems as American as Elvis Presley)
xiii Ray Harryhausen
I am a Hypocrite
from Facebook
originally posted Wednesday, June 10, 2009 at 9:03am | Edit Note | Delete
Check out this news piece entitled "OBAMA INVOKES JESUS MORE THAN BUSH"
http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20090609/pl_politico/23510;_ylt=Aj6oWEFDjOXdqJFmgeS.5WCs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTJsbm5uNWc0BGFzc2V0Ay9wb2xpdGljby8yMDA5MDYwOS9wbF9wb2xpdGljby8yMzUxMARwb3MDNQRzZWMDeW5fbW9zdF9wb3B1bGFyBHNsawNvYmFtYWludm9rZXM-
Since I've been obsessed with President Obama's religiosity for a while now I'm not really surprised about this. Admittedly President Bush did take things a little further by saying that God spoke to him but I bet that question hasn't been directly posed to Obama. The nighttime talk radio host on AM1390 said that the "hand of God is on Obama" so I presume at least others believe God speaks to him whether he claims it himself.
First off, I hate Christianity. You hate stuff too, I bet, so please don't treat me like an intolerant fool. You probably hate National Socialism because we're all taught to hate it and with several good reasons why. Between hate speech, anti-individualism, witch burnings, crusades, and Oral Roberts I'd say that Christianity has had more than it's fair share of evil attributed to it's cause. The big difference between Christianity and Nazism in the public eye grows from the fact that people love to hate Hitler but still adore that guy named Jesus.
Let's clear something up quickly. Lots of guys named Jesus existed at the turn of the millennium and it is most likely that there existed a fella who made a name for himself by criticizing politics and religion. Or rather, Paul made a name of him. The Gospels were written decades after Jesus died and the reason that anyone knows his name is because one very vocal, powerful, and literate man fell in love with the guy and wrote letters about him to others. Paul's the asshole who we should all be pissed at. In other words, I could be Jesus but I don't have a PR guy like Paul. Of course, since I am literate and I do write my opinions you know more about me than anyone will ever know about who Jesus was.
My hate doesn't end with Christianity, though. I hate Ghandi too just for this quote alone:
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Christians, just like we evil, depraved atheists, are just normal people which means just like you and I they are concerned, compassionate people. Maybe not as compassionate as you, of course, because who is? But really, no matter how stupid the bullshit is that people believe they generally care about other people anywhere from somewhat to a lot. Jeffrey Dahmer was a Christian who ate people and Stalin was an atheist who committed genocide so maybe a person's theology is not the most important thing when evaluating them as an individual.
I agree that a lot of good did come from Ghandi, even though he was clearly an elitist and he was an extreme racist. But I say I hate him because of what he stands for in people's eyes. He is treated as an enlightened, spiritual, holy person. Some people are more intelligent and some people are more benevolent than myself but I don't think that any of them are holy.
This means the Pope, a yogi, the Dalia Lama, televangelists, psychics, Ayatollahs, and more all suck in my eyes because they have been granted undo power because they claim to have supernatural powers that normal humans don't. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em sideways. Fuck 'em in their holiest of holes. I don't need to mention any names but that guy who claims to be the 14th something or other says he "prays for peace" which means he's a delusional non-intellectual who doesn't seem to care what the rest of the world goes through.
Which brings me to my hypocrisy. I love Carl Sagan, Harry Houdini, Thomas Jefferson, Richard Dawkins, Charles Darwin, Thomas Paine, Penn & Teller, and many more. I hang on their words almost like they are religious truths. Their words inform my decisions and I feel enriched by learning about their lives. But what separates these men from the aforementioned holy men is that none of them claim to be divine or even divinely sparked. They use their profoundly gifted minds and, at times, bodies to demonstrate the power that a human can achieve. And, perhaps most importantly, because they claim no divine knowledge or guidance they leave wide open a door that those who use religion cannot: fallibility.
originally posted Wednesday, June 10, 2009 at 9:03am | Edit Note | Delete
Check out this news piece entitled "OBAMA INVOKES JESUS MORE THAN BUSH"
http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20090609/pl_politico/23510;_ylt=Aj6oWEFDjOXdqJFmgeS.5WCs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTJsbm5uNWc0BGFzc2V0Ay9wb2xpdGljby8yMDA5MDYwOS9wbF9wb2xpdGljby8yMzUxMARwb3MDNQRzZWMDeW5fbW9zdF9wb3B1bGFyBHNsawNvYmFtYWludm9rZXM-
Since I've been obsessed with President Obama's religiosity for a while now I'm not really surprised about this. Admittedly President Bush did take things a little further by saying that God spoke to him but I bet that question hasn't been directly posed to Obama. The nighttime talk radio host on AM1390 said that the "hand of God is on Obama" so I presume at least others believe God speaks to him whether he claims it himself.
First off, I hate Christianity. You hate stuff too, I bet, so please don't treat me like an intolerant fool. You probably hate National Socialism because we're all taught to hate it and with several good reasons why. Between hate speech, anti-individualism, witch burnings, crusades, and Oral Roberts I'd say that Christianity has had more than it's fair share of evil attributed to it's cause. The big difference between Christianity and Nazism in the public eye grows from the fact that people love to hate Hitler but still adore that guy named Jesus.
Let's clear something up quickly. Lots of guys named Jesus existed at the turn of the millennium and it is most likely that there existed a fella who made a name for himself by criticizing politics and religion. Or rather, Paul made a name of him. The Gospels were written decades after Jesus died and the reason that anyone knows his name is because one very vocal, powerful, and literate man fell in love with the guy and wrote letters about him to others. Paul's the asshole who we should all be pissed at. In other words, I could be Jesus but I don't have a PR guy like Paul. Of course, since I am literate and I do write my opinions you know more about me than anyone will ever know about who Jesus was.
My hate doesn't end with Christianity, though. I hate Ghandi too just for this quote alone:
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Christians, just like we evil, depraved atheists, are just normal people which means just like you and I they are concerned, compassionate people. Maybe not as compassionate as you, of course, because who is? But really, no matter how stupid the bullshit is that people believe they generally care about other people anywhere from somewhat to a lot. Jeffrey Dahmer was a Christian who ate people and Stalin was an atheist who committed genocide so maybe a person's theology is not the most important thing when evaluating them as an individual.
I agree that a lot of good did come from Ghandi, even though he was clearly an elitist and he was an extreme racist. But I say I hate him because of what he stands for in people's eyes. He is treated as an enlightened, spiritual, holy person. Some people are more intelligent and some people are more benevolent than myself but I don't think that any of them are holy.
This means the Pope, a yogi, the Dalia Lama, televangelists, psychics, Ayatollahs, and more all suck in my eyes because they have been granted undo power because they claim to have supernatural powers that normal humans don't. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em sideways. Fuck 'em in their holiest of holes. I don't need to mention any names but that guy who claims to be the 14th something or other says he "prays for peace" which means he's a delusional non-intellectual who doesn't seem to care what the rest of the world goes through.
Which brings me to my hypocrisy. I love Carl Sagan, Harry Houdini, Thomas Jefferson, Richard Dawkins, Charles Darwin, Thomas Paine, Penn & Teller, and many more. I hang on their words almost like they are religious truths. Their words inform my decisions and I feel enriched by learning about their lives. But what separates these men from the aforementioned holy men is that none of them claim to be divine or even divinely sparked. They use their profoundly gifted minds and, at times, bodies to demonstrate the power that a human can achieve. And, perhaps most importantly, because they claim no divine knowledge or guidance they leave wide open a door that those who use religion cannot: fallibility.
A Man I Will Never Forgive and why KNOWING sucks
There is no afterlife. There certainly is no proof of it. Near death experiences have scientific explanations; there is no evidence for ghosts; there is nothing that can empirically prove that you have a soul much less something happens to it when you die. Now some of you may be quick to retort that just because the afterlife can't be proven does not falsify it's existence it just means we don't or can't know about it until we die. But That is proof enough to me that it is of absolutely no consequence to our lives. The only thing that should matter to us and our lives is the material world which we can observe, manipulate, and try to understand. People kill and are killed for something that may not, and probably does not, exist so I'm justified in my contempt for a belief in the afterlife.
You see, after I spoke at my father's funeral the eulogy was given by Sherwood Tidman, retired Captain in the Salvation Army. Besides being long-winded enough to earn an audible 'I'm bored' from my nephew this asshole used my father's memorial as a platform to preach his childish story of sin and salvation for what seemed like an hour. Maybe it was half that time but no less painful and even his wife was caught tapping her feet. My last opportunity to pay my last respects to my dad's body and to celebrate his life with family and friends and this guy tells us that we are "in danger" of losing our souls and glorifying a fantasy world while neglecting the most important thing in the world: our lives. Now before you admonish me for taking this personal let this sink in: when Sherwood arrived at the chapel and hugged me he whispered in my ear "now I'm going to step on your toes a little bit." Sherwood, thanks for forever staining an already painful day with your self-righteous idiocy and making me glad that I left your stupid, pitiful religion. I hope that your few remaining days are as worthless as your words. Your empty, non-existent god my forgive you but I never will.
Which brings me to KNOWING. This movie sucks and I trust that you will not see it. Here's the plot: alien/angels have warned an Earthling about these impending disasters, people get wiped out, and two dark-haired white children are brought to another planet presumably to repopulate the human species. And Nicolas Cage plays a sorry excuse for an MIT professor who finds his faith again before it's all over. Now that I actually have a sense for what life and mortality is I get pissed when I see something that treats the death of a living, breathing human being as an inconsequential event. Using things like 9/11 as a plot point to suggest that this is all a part of some holy, pre-ordained plan is revolting. Death is not the beginning of a new stage, a new journey when, as far as we know, it is the end.
Nothing is more important than your life and what you do with it. Value it. Treat everyday, even the shitty ones, as a treasure. Nothing or no one will give it meaning but you.
You see, after I spoke at my father's funeral the eulogy was given by Sherwood Tidman, retired Captain in the Salvation Army. Besides being long-winded enough to earn an audible 'I'm bored' from my nephew this asshole used my father's memorial as a platform to preach his childish story of sin and salvation for what seemed like an hour. Maybe it was half that time but no less painful and even his wife was caught tapping her feet. My last opportunity to pay my last respects to my dad's body and to celebrate his life with family and friends and this guy tells us that we are "in danger" of losing our souls and glorifying a fantasy world while neglecting the most important thing in the world: our lives. Now before you admonish me for taking this personal let this sink in: when Sherwood arrived at the chapel and hugged me he whispered in my ear "now I'm going to step on your toes a little bit." Sherwood, thanks for forever staining an already painful day with your self-righteous idiocy and making me glad that I left your stupid, pitiful religion. I hope that your few remaining days are as worthless as your words. Your empty, non-existent god my forgive you but I never will.
Which brings me to KNOWING. This movie sucks and I trust that you will not see it. Here's the plot: alien/angels have warned an Earthling about these impending disasters, people get wiped out, and two dark-haired white children are brought to another planet presumably to repopulate the human species. And Nicolas Cage plays a sorry excuse for an MIT professor who finds his faith again before it's all over. Now that I actually have a sense for what life and mortality is I get pissed when I see something that treats the death of a living, breathing human being as an inconsequential event. Using things like 9/11 as a plot point to suggest that this is all a part of some holy, pre-ordained plan is revolting. Death is not the beginning of a new stage, a new journey when, as far as we know, it is the end.
Nothing is more important than your life and what you do with it. Value it. Treat everyday, even the shitty ones, as a treasure. Nothing or no one will give it meaning but you.
I Relent - 25 Things About a 21st Century Man
Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people, then click publish.)
1) I am named after my father, Charles Barrett Porterfield, who went by Barry and Charlie. Chuck is the nickname that they address me by.
2) I was a member of the Salvation Army for 10 and half years and was a preacher, Sunday school teacher, and a missionary.
3) #2 is why I am now an atheist and an advocate for secularism and skepticism.
4) I went to a professional wrestling school.
5) Of all my tattoos I have two portraits: famed escapologist and psychic debunker Harry Houdini and the little girl from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.
6) The first movie that I threaded by myself in a projection booth was IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE (in 3-D!) at Cinfest Film Theatre.
7) No candidate that I have ever voted for in a Presidential election since 2000 has garnered more than 5% of the popular vote, much less won.
8) I go back and forth on the Brenda Lee/Patsy Cline issue.
9) I've swam in the actual Black Lagoon with The (underwater) Creature himself.
10) So you think you were a nerd in high school? I got knocked out playing kick ball.
11) Since I'm literate and have been to a post-Soviet nation I can tell you this: communism is fucking awful.
12) I lost my virginity a few years ago in a cemetary on the 4th of July.
13) My favorite holidays are Halloween (costumes and candy), Xmas (presents and family), Thanksgiving (food), and Independence Day (patriotism and #12).
14) Although I'm no Jack Lalane, I used to weigh 260+ pounds and the heaviest thing I lifted was the Bible, so I may be in the best shape of my life.
15) I am an avid reader of books primarily of scientific, social, political and autobiographical nature. I'd highly recommend David Lee Roth's CRAZY FROM THE HEAT.
16) I didn't have alcohol until I was 23 and drugs until a year later. I recently stopped using said materials. I waited a month before telling my mom.
17) I now perform non-religious wedding ceremonies and have spoken at funerals. Which means if you're an atheist or agnostic and need somebody I can marry ya and bury ya!
18) I watched all three LORD OF THE RINGS movies in a row in a movie theater in Columbus, GA with Shane, Richard, Calu, and Creepy Kenny.
19) While hosting NITRATE 88 on WRAS I had the opportunity to interview Herschell Gordon Lewis, Jack Hill, Kevin Smith, Ted Raimi, Jeffery Combs and Fred Olen Ray.
20) Businesses come and go but I still miss the hummus from TORTILLAS and the mashed potatoes at THE CABBAGETOWN GRILL.
21) Last year I fulfilled my lifelong dream of seeing Penn & Teller perform The Bullet Catch live (and I can't wait to do it again.)
22) In college I double majored in Film & Video and Religious Studies which probably means that I should be a pornographer.
23) I was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome which is great because A) it's such a nebulous diagnosis who knows if it's correct? and B) I get a condition that starts with 'ass.'
24) I plan on taking my mom to the Liberace Museum in Las Vegas in the next year or two.
25) I have the death sentence in 12 systems.
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