They Throw Everything At Him

A friend once asked me for some advice on a script she was developing about a professional wrestler. She wasn't interested in the "hows" of professional wrestling, such as "how does one become a wrestler" or "what is the thought process when creating the unusual art that is professional wrestling?" Her line of questioning focused more on "who becomes a wrestler" and more importantly "why does a person become a wrestler?"

Clearly that answer is unique to each individual involved and as you can imagine everyone in our industry is a bit of an odd bird. I sometimes joke that the people in wrestling range from the unique to the mentally ill. Though involvement may sometimes be for the wrong reasons almost all of us do it because we simply feel like we have to.

There is a unique experience that comes from professional wrestling that is found in no other art form that I know. There is the ballet-like expression of human emotion through physical movement, there is improvisation interwoven through conspired melodies like jazz. But to combine them into one form with a beautiful, sometimes malevolent, intention of manipulating people into states of cathartic fury is unlike any other I've seen.

Though she had seen the film already I advised her to watch Darren Aranofsky's The Wrestler. Though it does illustrate a darker side of professional wrestling, the side of drugs and damaged relationships, it also shows the kind of personality that thrives in that business. Due to it's numerous allusions to the Jesus story I sometimes call the film "The Passion of the Ram." Randy "The Ram's" side is pierced in his match against Necro Butcher, he has a messianic pathology that leads him to sacrifice everything for the enjoyment of his fans, and eschewed by society and scourged in the ring. A direct comparison is even made by the character Cassidy who quotes the Bible by way of the film The Passion of the Christ:

                    "He was pierced for our
                    transgressions, He was crushed for
                    our iniquities. The punishment that
                    brought us peace was upon Him, and
                    by His wounds we were healed."

It is as if the sacrificial lamb has reached full adulthood and has become The Ram. I know that my involvement in wrestling makes me predisposed to enjoying this film but I'd advise you to look up Penn Jillette's "Penn Points" in which he reviews this movie. He is an artist with whom I have great admiration and I think his time as a performer gives him a special understanding of the picture.

I've heard many criticisms of our "sport" and consider myself an ambassador for our business. My character, my "gimmick" if you will, is "The Voice of Reason" because it is a reflection of who I am in real life. I do not believe in supernatural powers and am an advocate for science and skepticism. I do not use drugs or alcohol because, as a human, I am already driven by enough irrational thinking and I feel that as person of some minor influence (particularly to children) that I should demonstrate that toughness is more than just physical.

Chuck, You Is Crazy!

**This blog will permanently destroy any "tough guy" or "cool guy" credibility I may have pretended to have but maybe it will be helpful to someone who needs the encouragement.**


In conversation I will occasionally say, "I know I'm not crazy; my therapist said so." I love the ironic sound of this phrase but it's actually very true. I may be irrational at times, I may have strange, emotional, nostalgic moments. I may not always connect to people the same way other people do but I'm certainly not "crazy" in the sense that I'm a danger to others and myself. But I have had at important times in my life sought the services of mental health professionals in order to address immediate and long-standing emotional issues.

I was hesitant at first to seek out professional help because, like many people, I had this perceived notion that mental health problems are like the conditions of a hypochondriac and, ironically, "all in your head" inasmuch as that it's something I was just making up. The only people you ever see in movies seeking mental health treatment were catatonic, violent, drug abusers, or purely delusional. It seemed that if you didn't think you were Napoleon you were just a regular ol' person and that you should be totally fine and that to suggest otherwise is to admit an unspeakable personal weakness. Fortunately, I was encouraged by good people, a family member and friend, who had found therapy beneficial and that gave me the strength to try to face my fears. While I'm not sure if the diagnosis is 100% correct I was diagnosed with a condition in therapy that at least gave me a jumping point to find avenues towards improving my emotional and behavioral health.

You see, the brain is so unfathomably complicated that it's currently impossible to explain how it works but everyday we learn more and more about how it functions and how it affects our behaviors and our decisions. We do know some things like our ability to use pure reason plays a very, very small part in most of our actions and choices individually. It stands to reason then that every single person on the planet probably has a few, if not several million, neurological misfirings and connections which cause us to think and behave in ways that may not be most beneficial to our physical and mental health, much less for how they affect other people. And, if that's the case, it seems rather sensible to me that people might want to take time to see if there may be things they can do allow their brain to function in a more healthy way just as they would their heart and lungs.

Recently "the failure of the mental health community" has become one rallying cry in regards to the apparent, though I think sensationalized, rash of acts of mass violence by individuals. This may be my irrational brain causing me to say this but it seems that a more immediate issue is the violent individuals' inability to address their own mental health issues. Perhaps when you're psychological function is that far gone you are incapable of recognizing that you may need a different mental health strategy and that's totally fair. I'm not sure if the same thing can be said for a person who posts twice a day on Facebook about their drinking habits, their misanthropic preference of dumb animals over their fellow human, or the often hate-fueled disgust for people with different political or sociological perspectives.

Perhaps we have this hold over belief that mental health is associated with sin and that we're unhappy because we aren't following God's will or something. Fortunately, we've pretty much eradicated that belief when it comes to physical health issues (contrary to what the Bible says, I might add) so maybe it's time that society starts looking to more reasonable answers. Perhaps your "relationship with God" operates differently than mine did but my experience involved scores of hours of requests to alleviate my youthful self hatred and loneliness to an unanswering God. But, as I eventually learned, just as an obese person can't pray away the fat, a depressed person can't pray away the pain.

There is so little we know about the brain and psychology is such a young, strange science that we know we are ignorant and wrong about some or a lot of things. I can live with that because I know that the heart behind it is the question, "how can we make people healthier, better people?" You don't have to be on the verge of shooting up a school to seek to improve your psychological health. You just need the strength to say, "I wonder if I could do this better?

An Angry Holiday Letter

**Attention, anyone can read this but I'm specifically aiming this diatribe at atheists and agnostics. In this typically long-winded blog I'm going to share some stories and attempt to tie them together into a cohesive thought here so bear with me if you have the time.**

Some of you may recall that I used to pride myself as "the atheist who loves Xmas." Well, I'm not anymore. I don't celebrate Xmas or Christmas. I take some stuff way too seriously and holidays are one of them. Since "the holiday season" has become so politicized I decided I would take a formal position on the matter.

So, instead of saying "well...I don't really celebrate Christmas because I'm not into Santa or Jesus but I like the lights and blah blah blah" I've found a great alternative: HumanLight. Some people in New Jersey started it and since then it's been sponsored by the American Humanist Association. Basically, since it falls on December 23rd it's like the secular humanist's bootleg Christmas. Yes, I know it's a stupid fucking name. Truthfully, I'm stumped when it comes to thinking of a better one but it's at least as good as "Easter" or "Arbor Day." If you're a secular humanist you've got something to put on your calendar. Note: it's the day AFTER my birthday which should also be on your calendar so you can remember to give me stuff.

But here's the thing: it's for secular humanists, right? So we have a holiday now where we get to all be proud about being humanists without the "burden" or whatever of religion? What does that mean? That we show the light of our....well, that's what I'm wondering. The light of our what?

Get this: I'm an atheist. I actively believe there is no god. In my opinion, that in no way speaks to my character or the quality of person I am. It may affect my decisions and actions but just because I don't believe in the supernatural in any way means I'm a "good" or "bad" person. Despite what that moron Paul may have said in a letter, my works actually do matter. But, you know, I don't think all atheists really get this idea.

See, a few weeks ago I went to an atheist meetup. Was I there to engage in intellectual discourse? Well, sure. I mean, mostly I was there hoping there might be some hot, single atheist babes who didn't think being involved in the professional wrestling business was appalling but, yeah, sure, I was there for the discourse. Certainly there was some of that (not so much the hot babes) but there was one thing I definitely found: self righteous atheist snarkiness.

You know, I get it. Religion is stupid. It teaches things and ideas that are untrue and often harmful. Tell me something I don't know. But you know what, just because you aren't religious you aren't all of the sudden better than the people who are religious. In fact, if all your anti-religious experience grants you is the ability to make jokes about Mormons then chances are you might not actually have a whole lot going for you.

Jump forward to a few weeks later. I was invited to a breakfast by a fellow skeptic and was fortunate to meet some very cool people. Snarkiness was not present at this discussion but there was, thankfully, some disagreement. The idea was presented that there was a deep concern about the presence of libertarianism within the skeptic community. For one thing, I don't think having a diversity of opinion within the community is a bad thing but for another HEY! I'm a libertarian! In fact, I describe my beliefs as being "atheist libertarianism."

Without putting too fine a point on it, basically someone said that though she is an atheist she still maintains some of her Christian morality and that as such she still supports the idea of having a safety net. Mind you, I'm not saying that we shouldn't have a safety net but I retorted by saying (and I paraphrase), "I still have some of my Christian morality as well but the tradition I came from was the Salvation Army and even though most of those people support conservative economics they devoted much of their lives to supporting social services and saw helping those in need as part of their duty as Christians."

Flash forward to yesterday: a friend of mine, perhaps one of the most compassionate humans I've ever known, texted me asking if she should give money to the Salvation Army because she wanted to know if the money went to the church or social services. I'm sure that to most atheists the answer is very clear: no, the Salvation Army is a church and they shouldn't get any of my money. Almost certainly my issues with the SA are personal and deeper than yours so when I say I don't give money to them believe me when I say have legitimate reasons. But for you? You could do better but you could do a hell of a lot worse too.

But then it hit me, all three of the stories have this same connective idea: what does it mean to be a secular humanist? I mean, we have a holiday with a stupid name now, right? So what are we celebrating about our belief? That we think we're smarter than Christians? I can tell you right now that I don't want any part of that bullshit.

Listen, I'm not going to attempt to argue that libertarianism maximizes resources and expands economic growth for all people in the long run. Frankly, I'm not sure that it does and there is evidence to the contrary. But I can tell you what I want out of my own life and what I'd like for others: I want to be able to be free to make my own decisions, live my life as I best see fit, use my time how I want, make whatever I want out of my life to the best of my ability, take care of myself and those that I love, and when I'm able, help out people who are in greater need than myself. That's all I want. I don't mind people telling me what they think is best for me but I sure as hell don't want to be forced to do anything. I don't want anyone to be forced into doing anything they don't want to do. If that's the ugly presence of libertarianism, idyllic and naive as it may be, I can live with that.

But what I can't live with is people calling themselves "secular humanists" and then not really giving a fuck about their fellow Homo sapien. There probably should be a safety net provided by the state. But if you ask me, it should be a last line of defense. The reason we're even alive as a species is because evolution granted altruism as part of our genetic make up. We're here because we had to take care of each other. Is it enough? Maybe not, but goddamn it, let's at least fucking TRY.

The people in the Salvation Army are wrong about us needing Jesus. Cool. But you know what, I've seen Salvationists who would LITERALLY take their shirt off for a person in need. No, gays aren't going to hell and it's a stupid, horrible belief to hold. But, goddamn, those assholes cared about their fellow human beings. To me THAT is really what it means to be a humanist.

Secular humanists, I'm not saying you need to change your politics because as far as I know you're right. But I will ask you to do is to give a fucking shit about your fellow humans and do something about it. We're smart enough to know that evolution brought us to this point on Earth, we ought to be smart enough to figure out that we can be personally involved in helping to make the lives of other humans better.

Honestly I don't really want to be kind to the world. I want to be fucking Lex Luthor. I want to be so smart, so driven, so crazy I can challenge goddamn Superman. Really, I'm not even that nice of a person. Ask the guy at the gas pump who yells, "hey, big man!" if I open up my wallet to him. But since my stupid monkey brain keeps telling me "you're supposed to care about those dumb schleps within your species" I try to find some ways to exhibit compassion. 

So if you're a secular humanist I expect the same out of you. I'm not saying stop giving to your fucking save-the-pit bull campaign ('cause some of those chicks wear skimpy outfits and make calendars with which you can put my birthday on) but how about this: give to a save-the-human charity every now and then. My favorite is Doctors Without Borders but there are plenty of great ones out there, probably even better ones. You've got time and resources to go online and waste it reading my bullshit so you must have something going for you.

What's that? You're like me and mooching off the Internet at work? Then give blood or something. That's apolitical, that's secular. I've even gotten some cute phlebotomists' numbers out of the deal. There are lots of ways of addressing material needs and until we have an Atheism Army that runs orphanages and handles disaster relief you might have to bite the bullet and do it in a less appealing way.

My point, briefly - Dear Atheists,

Stop being so goddamned snarky and help out your fellow fucking human.
No government, NGO, non-profit or even corporation is going to make this place better if we aren't willing to do the good ourselves first. Maybe if we're all so smart and just so goddamned humanistic that one day we won't be arguing about a safety net we'll actually be runnin' this damn thang. Maybe it won't be goddamned megachurches I see running winter-time clothing and toy drives in my 'hood. I know a lot is institutional and just being compassionate and godless won't change that, but it sure as hell is a step in the right direction.

Similarly Inclined

I've been reading this terrific book by Michael Shermer called "The Mind of the Market: How Biology and Psychology Affect our Economic Minds" (Times Books, 2007). It is no surpise that I find this and his other books compelling because a) like Shermer I'm a skeptic who seeks scientific explanations for events and b) Shermer advocates for free market economics for a variety of social and moral reasons. This falls squarely into the category of "preaching to the choir" as I am an atheist libertarian like Michael Shermer himself. Both of us have been persuaded by the same arguments regarding philosophy and ethics and we share a similar perspective of how the world does and can operate. I am aware that there are equally learned and brilliant people who criticize Shermer and his philosophies but I have yet to read or hear any messages that I find to be more persuasive than those that he espouses. Since I have drastically changed my mind about these subjects before (remember, I used to be a socialist Christian) I always like to leave open the possibility that I may, and most likely will, alter my beliefs about the world.

So here's my question: what's so hard about taking the perspective that a person may be wrong about things and that it's just part of being a human? All the time I see conservatives deriding liberals as being mentally disabled and stupid and I see liberals calling conservatives hateful and ignorant. Maybe it's because of my libertarian bent that I take issue with this because I tend to support economic conservatism and am therefore lumped together anti-abortion, pro-religion zealots. Perhaps it's because I think people should be able to choose what they put in their bodies, be it drugs, fast food or cocks, that I'm considered a morally permissive sinner bound for Hell. I have no idea what the best choices for you are. I certainly don't think that corporations or the government know what is best for you. I do think that we as individuals are more than capable of making relatively good decisions for ourselves and the more autonomy we are given the better off we are. At least I am until I am given sound reasoning to think otherwise.

I know I've written about this before but I'm just fucking tired of name-calling. I'm particularly tired of people thinking they have a moral upper hand because of their beliefs. I shouldn't be surprised about this because in "The Mind of the Market" Shermer discusses studies recently conducted in which people were asked to rank their virtue in comparison of others, including their friends in which they consistently ranked themselves as being more moral and compassionate than others. There are a number of reasons for this but it ultimately comes down to humans' irrational ability to justify their own actions, right or wrong. Having been associated with both religious and non-religious groups I can tell you that no one has a monopoly on self-righteousness. I think atheist libertarianism offers the best, most constructive worldview currently available but that doesn't make me a better person by any measure.