Neurologically speaking, I tend to be what one would call a concrete thinker. I definitely have the ability to utilize abstract thought but my inclination is to see things through a very literal, grounded world view. I would not suggest that this makes me a 'better person' but it does mean that you have to provide something tangible to appeal my cognitive abilities. Passionate pleas hold less value for me than well-documented arguments. This is a double-edged sword, for sure. On one hand, things have to make sense to me. They have to be reasonable and have equally reasonable explanations. On the other hand, this rarely leaves room for the immaterial in my ideology. I don't consider it to be close-mindedness on my part but a case of utility.
Before it gets too far, let me address a point of religious intolerance. An individual that meets me at this point in my life may be unaware that I have even walked a spiritual path. They may see my blogs and presume that I am yet another religion-basher that thinks he knows better than everyone else. I am not without my religious experiences. Over a decade in the Salvation Army. After that I spent almost half that time exposing myself to ideas of the world's religions, mysticism, Eastern thought, and the occult (somehow without owning a single book by Crowley!). I am not unfamiliar with the religious journey, nor am I unfamiliar with some of the wants and needs that religion attempts to satisfy. It just so happens that as I became more knowledgeable and experienced in the world that I decided that matters of faith and belief were as deserving of critical scrutiny as all other aspects of life. When I was a Christian, I boldly argued that "God gave us brains with the ability to use reason so it is must be within His Will to think about things and have them make logical sense" - this was interpreted by others as "testing the Lord" and thus a sin. A sin. Come on, people. Is your God so frickin' small that inquiries of a decidely finite homo sapien cannot answer for himself. Don't give me that "God doesn't need to explain himself" nonsense either. The same people who make that claim then use the supposed Word to explain God and thus demonstrate the necessity for some sort of rationalization for their faith.
Many people will immediately dispute this next statement but I'm not sure why: all things have a rational explanation. I agree that we do not and proabably will not ever have explanations for everything but as we continue to do more scientific research the things of the 'unexplained' will become more clear. As you can imagine, this mode of thinking compliments my concrete thinking so one could probably argue that I, like everyone, is trying to find answers to life that appeal to the way we already think. Fair enough. But consider this: if I can point to very real, physical justifications for my belief systems then the grounding I stand on is, I feel, pretty solid. I am not asking anyone to buy into something without giving reasonable proof to support it.
The whole point of this for me is utility. If the rational explanations that science and reason present me satisfy me more than faith in God then that is what I will use. When I wrote about presuppositions it was correctly linked by my commentators with faith. For instance: Heaven and Hell. I have absolutely no evidence to suggest that there is an afterlife; much less an afterlife that lasts an eternity. If I don't have evidence for that, I certainly cannot prove that there is some sort of destination to go to afterwards and certainly not to the point of being so definite that there are only 2 options (3 if you count Purgatory). Sure, ancient peoples may have had an idea of the afterlife that has been passed down colloquially, but they may have also been buried with their personal belongings to take with them only to find themselves robbed and dead. This doesn't mean there really is an afterlife.
When my life was centered around matters of heavenly kingdoms I thought that if I were to spend my time and energy seeking to serve and please God then I would be able to reach some sort of personal peace. Maybe things didn't go the way I wanted them to when it came to things like women or self-esteem but I trusted that God would be able to offer me emotional solice above and beyond the workings of humans. Somehow, I still found the daily crying and self loathing associated with placing trust in God's hands didn't pan out for me. Everyday I asked God to help me with my depression in prayer. I talked to my pastor about these issues. Guess what? His answer was prayer and faith-these were our earthly tests in preparation for an eternity of peacefulness and easy living. A Master's in Christian counseling and he couldn't even offer "you might have a chemical imbalance" or even "when the Bible says turn the other cheek it doesn't mean to accept abuse from peers." Nope. Prayer and faith. All of my emotional pain and suffering were all a part of my service to God. Maybe I was broken but I will be glad to take a stand and say that God did not help me fix anything.
What has helped me? A conversation and time with me will prove that I am a pretty positive person. My blog may make it appear that I am a hater, but only of things that seek to subdue and control individuals and masses. In truth, I genuinely feel that I am the luckiest man on earth. I am a more appreciative, gracious person than when I was religious. I take less for granted because I have a materialist outlook on life. What has helped me? Sorry. You're just going to have wait for the uplifting messages later.
Forgive me for doing this, but I'm going to have to quote Ted Nugent: "You're born at point A, you die at point B. Kick maximum ass."
****Originally posted December 19, 2006 ****
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